InsaneJournal

Current mood:

amused

Please step away from the thesaurus and no one will get hurt
It's been a while since I've done a Spam Of The Day but this couldn't be ignored. Over the last 24 hours, I've had 23 of these almost identical spams: they have just one 'word' of text followed by a website address, which I'm obviously not going to replicate here. Just one or two of them would have been pretty funny, after 23 sent in quick succession, I was decking myself.

Man-sizedFuckstickEloy - Fuckstick just doesn't sound sexy, it sounds like a swearword.
PhallusEnlargedVonda - great, now I'm thinking of the deformed penises I saw in a medical museum.
MonumentalErectileorganTammie - the word erectile is never sexy unless you're into that whole medical play thing.
DannieBouffantPenis - I don't think the word 'bouffant' needs any further comment really.
JessPhallusGreatest
PenisGreatestLinda - now, now ladies, you can't both have the greatest phallic organ
AmadoFuckstickMonster
SamHumongousBodypart - one of the lesser known hobbits.
BodypartExtensiveReva - well known for their custom work on monster trucks
LarryDickTitanic - can I make a 'went down on the Titanic' joke here? No, I didn't think so...
PenisImmenseTraci
ScottiePhallusGreatest - we'll have no Star Trek slash here, thank you.
RebaPhallusOversize
SherrieMonumentalFuckstick
SabrinaWideFuckstick
ErectileorganBulkyOctavio - this one just seems like overkill (as a pose to all those other restrained ones!)
PhallusGiantShelia
CockElephantinAntoinette - elephant cocks is a whole 'nother ball game
OversizeCockVirginia
ColossalCockJanna
JavierErectileorganBigger
ArchieKing-sizeBodypart
GusPhallusWide-ranging - er, wide-ranging? WTF? Does it have a territory? Is it known for it's annual migratory habits?


I think they've taken that porn star name meme thing and gotten it a little confuddled.

Oh great, I've just noticed that the headers on the emails are done in the same style but with different words so there's double the fun.

AlisaPhallusPuffy - the word puffy next to the word phallus is never good. Gentlemen, if it's puffy, I recommend a visit to your physician.
JonDickCapacious - surely it's the ladies who are capacious on porn sites?
CorinneRangyPhallus - unfortunately, the word rangy just makes me think of coyotes.
RubenErectileorganWide - well yes, I suppose it would be wide if it's a Ruben
WideErectileorganDuncan
TeddyErectileorganOutsized
WadeObviousFuckstick
MountainousCockHaley
AnthonyGreatestBodypart
CockVastAriel
BrookeDickOverlarge - for some reason this made me think of Brookeback Mountain.
MonsterPenisJack
DarrenBodypartHumongous
BiggerErectileorganHank - I'm sorry, I just can't read the words 'erectile organ' without my brain completing the sentence with the word 'disfunction'. I suspect this is not the response intended.
PuffyPhallusMildred - I don't know about you but that combination of words certainly got me hot!
DickMonstrousVance
PhallusColossalGeoffrey - Geoffrey? Who the hell picked these names?
LenoraPhallusProdigious
ShlongBiggishEstelle - everyone else is colossal, monstrous and vast but poor old Estelle is merely 'biggish'
GracielaEnormousDick
HesterConspicuousDick
ShlongProminentMarlin - isn't that just a big fish?
ObviousPhallusShelby - if Shelby has an obvious phallus, she's obviously using too big a carrot.

In the immortal words of Inigo Montoya; "you keep using that word but I do not think it means what you think it means".