InsaneJournal

Current mood:

cold

I need a word with the casting director
Dear Subconscious,

If you must put Robert De Niro in my dreams as an eccentric cop with a penchant for wearing smeary make-up and playing with condoms at crime scenes, do you have to have him butt-fucking his captain in another scene?

And if it was necessary to the plot for him to butt-fuck his captain in a frankly anatomically suspect position that would have given the illustrators of the Kama Sutra pause for thought, why on earth were they both still wearing their trousers?

Why so shy, Subconscious? Are you merely trying to spare me the trauma of seeing Robert De Niro's wrinkly old cock slamming into some guy's asshole? I appreciate the thought but believe me, seeing him lounging on the bed in the smeary make-up and looking a whole lot like a clown already traumatised me and I can't imagine that the anal sex would have been any worse. In fact, I was so baffled by this scene of trousered trouser-snaking that I tried to rewind the dream just to check.

Also, WTF was with the two life-size plastic garden gnomes that suddenly appeared in my garden at the end of the dream? Are you on bad drugs?

Remember, no one is indispensable!
Please try harder in future, thank you.

Yours Sincerely

The Management